7 Secrets to Ditching Food Guilt and Binge Eating
One of the biggest milestones in recovery from binge eating or bulimia is learning to eat all foods without guilt. It's not just about what you eat—it’s about how you think and feel about food. Breaking free from the binge-restrict cycle requires a shift in mindset, away from rules and restriction and toward curiosity, balance, and trust in your body. Sound almost impossible? That is what I thought too when I was battling bulimia for 10 years of my life. BUT I am living proof (as well as many of my clients) that freedom from an eating disorder is possible.
To help you get started, here are 7 key steps to start the journey toward eating all foods without guilt.
Identify your Food Rules
Take a moment to reflect with your journal. Ask yourself, what rules do I try to follow when it comes to eating? These rules might dictate when you eat, what you eat, or how much you're “allowed.” Many of us unconsciously follow external rules created by the society we live in—diet plans, fitness apps, or influencers on social media—instead of tuning into our intuitive internal hunger and fullness cues that we were all born with.
Write down five food rules you follow. For example:
I shouldn’t eat carbs after 6pm.
I’m only allowed dessert if I exercised that day.
I need to fast for 16 hours before my first meal.
I can only eat “clean” foods during the week.
I can’t go over XX number of calories.
These rules can seem like they’re “healthy,” but they often contribute to disordered eating patterns, unhelpful thinking styles and emotional distress.
2. Discover the Root of Each Rule
Now, explore where each rule came from. Was it:
A comment someone made when you were young?
A family belief or cultural value?
Messages you absorbed from diet culture or social media?
The result of years of yo-yo dieting?
Pinpoint your earliest memory for each rule and write down the message you internalised. Write down other significant memories that contributed to how this rule was created over time, to where you are today. Understanding the origin helps you realise these beliefs were learned—and what is learned can also be unlearned.
3. Question and Challenge your Rules
This is where the fun begins. Let’s take a moment to explore the beliefs we’ve carried for years—often without ever questioning them.
Look at each rule and analyse it from all angles:
What’s the evidence that this rule helps me?
What’s the evidence that this rule harms me?
Does this rule point me towards or away from the person I want to be?
Is it always true?
How does this rule impact my relationship with food and my body?
Is this rule based on facts or fear?
Is the source reliable?
Does this rule allow for flexibility?
Do other people have to follow this rule? If not, why do I?
Once you have spent a bit of time unpacking each rule, spend a week observing one of your rules in action. Gather all the evidence you can see that supports it or disputes it. Keep an open mind and remain unbiased, like a detective. You might find it useful to talk this through with a trusted friend or someone you admire for their healthy relationship with food to support you with this step.
4. Rewrite a more Balanced Mindset (Reframing)
Once you’ve weighed up the evidence, take a step back and reframe each rule. Create new, balanced beliefs grounded in flexibility not fear.
Example:
Old Rule: “No carbs after 6pm.”
New Mindset: “My body needs fuel in the evening, especially if I’m hungry. It’s okay to eat at night.”
When you catch yourself falling into the old rule, challenge it and replace it with your new mindset. Practice this over and over—it takes time to rewire your brain and thoughts, but with practice and persistence, it works.
5. Gradually Desensitise Yourself to Trigger Foods
Avoiding certain foods only gives them more power. To reduce the fear and “all or nothing” mentality, you’ll need to face those foods—but in a safe and structured way.
Here’s how:
Make a list of trigger or forbidden foods.
Rank them from least to most triggering.
Start with the least triggering food and eat it in a safe place—like at a friend’s house or a café.
Rate your anxiety from a scale of 1-10 (1=no anxiety; 10-high anxiety) before, during and after the meal for 2 hours (in 15 minute increments).
Plan a 30-minute distraction or put supports in place for afterwards so that you don’t binge or purge.
Repeat, repeat, repeat.
Once the fear or urge to binge reduces or the anxiety level is at a 2-3, move to the next food on your list.
This is a form of exposure therapy, and it’s a powerful tool in healing your relationship with food.
6. Understand Emotional Triggers and Make a Wise Choice
Binge eating is often driven by emotion. Sometimes we eat to numb, escape, or soothe pain. Write a list of common emotional triggers and alternative activities you can do to meet each emotional need. Then when you notice an urge to binge eat, ask yourself:
What emotion am I feeling right now?
What am I trying to avoid or fix with food?
Is food really the most effective way to meet that need?
Is this an emotion I need to understand, problem solve, respond to or just let it be until it passes?
Is there something on my list I can do instead of turning to food that will help with this emotion?
Make a plan for when you are likely to be triggered, so you are prepared. And practice, practice, practice.
That said, food can also be part of joy, comfort and connection. The key is awareness and intention.
Choosing to enjoy a chocolate bar mindfully is different from eating it to disconnect from overwhelming emotions. When you honour both your emotional needs and your body’s cues, you make empowered, wise choices.
7. Practice Mindful Eating
Mindful eating increases satisfaction and reduces the urge to binge. You can’t be mindful and binge eat at the same time—they’re polar opposites. When we eat mindfully, we are much more in tune with our hunger and fullness signals and stop when we are done. We experience all the wonderful sensations a meal provides us, leaving us more satisfied.
One of the powerful benefits of mindful eating is being able to notice when your enjoyment of the food starts to fade — often a natural sign that you’ve had enough. For instance, the first one or two biscuits might taste amazing, but by the fifth or sixth, the pleasure often isn’t the same.
Tips for eating mindfully:
Slow down and savour the flavours, textures and aromas.
Sit down to eat with minimal distractions.
Check in with your hunger and fullness throughout the meal.
Let yourself enjoy the experience of eating.
When you eat mindfully, you naturally feel more in control—and less likely to feel guilty afterwards.
Get Support to Break Binge Eating
Letting go of guilt is a process—and it is possible. The more you break down food rules, challenge diet culture, and build trust with your body, the more peace and freedom you’ll find in your relationship with food.
If this resonates with you, you're not alone. I’ve supported many clients on this journey, and I’d love to help you find freedom too. Simply send me a message at midi@foodfreedom.co.nz or contact me here. I’d love to hear from you.
